I really had no idea how talkative a 3 year old could be. Until now. My daughter literally doesn’t stop talking from the minute she wakes up:
Her: I just saw a little yellow light from my window. What was it? Come and have a look!
Me: I woke up 10 seconds ago. I’m going to need 5 minutes before I investigate any yellow lights.
Her: what are flowers made of? Can I have two breakfasts today? Why haven’t we got any brioche? What are you doing? Can I have my vitamins? I don’t want water I want milk! I didn’t want water! Mama why did you give me water? Can I have porridge first and then bran flakes? No I want bran flakes with no milk. Oh, you’re having toast. I want toast (not the porridge you’ve just made)
And we’ve only been in the kitchen 5 minutes. Phew.
Leaving the house:
Her: Can I take (enter number) (enter items) with me?
Me: Yes, but you’ll need to hurry and pop them in a bag
Her: Why do I need a bag?
Me: because my hands are full and you can’t carry 17 Sylvanian Families in your two hands. We’re 10 minutes late, hurry!
Her: Okay, I’ll get the red bag. Where is the bag mama? Can you get it for me? Where are we going? Can I take the party balloon and bouncy ball too? Can I open the car mama? (continue x110)
Me: Arghhhh! We’re late! The bag is in your room. I can’t get it as my hands are full and the front door is open. Yes, you can take the ball. Leave the balloon here and no you can’t open the door today its raining like a monsoon season.
Her: what’s a monsoon?
Even when we’re doing separate things her commentary and questions still flow. Some days I find the constant chatter draining. Answering question after question. Some days our interactions flow and I enjoy the prompts and inquisitiveness.
Other days I need more moments of quietness and silence. Is it linked to days where we seem to have too many schedules and appointments to keep to? Today we’ve been swimming, seen the dentist, done the food shopping and we’re off out again in 5 minutes and it’s only 2:30. That would seriously tip the most robust person over the edge.
I’m awful at going to bed early. I mean really awful. There’s being a night owl and then there’s me. 11pm is early. Midnight is normal. 1am is too frequent. I just need ‘me’ time and once housework is done (never thorough enough), dinner is made, eaten and admin taken care of (just too boring for words), I need a good couple of hours to zone into ‘my space’. However, I’m not good on little sleep. Bad combo.
How do you get into that good head space? Prayer/meditation time before sleep? (Not frequent enough). Scheduled cup of tea and sit down every day? (Not routinely). More sleep? (Probably). A check-in and chatter with friends? (Necessary).
I need to find a way to zone into a positive, stress-free place, mid thousandth question. This parenting business is tough.
Nights like tonight when she’s trying to explain her dreams are so precious I want to soak it all up and I wonder why it can feel so difficult sometimes.
But there are days when I want need a “duvet day”. Or I want to enjoy reading my magazine without being launched at, with full speed velocity. Or I want to walk downstairs without giving back carries or dealing with the wailing if the answer is no. Some days I want quiet, peace and my own space feels precious. I have learnt so much patience over the 3 years and yet there are days I wonder if I have any patience left in me.
The days when I get cross and use that tone of voice that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. The days where ‘treats’ aka cbeebies and biscuits really are my treats as I need to recharge my sanity and all those ‘fruits of the spirit’. The days when I feel that everything that comes out of my mouth is a command or a “hurry up!” The days when I don’t feel like the ‘best mama’ I dreamt of being. I feel a million miles away from it.
But overall, its okay. Those days are those days. I’m learning to give myself my own ‘timeout’. Learning to give myself a virtual pat on the back on the worst days because there is always a gem hidden in there somewhere. Learning that this is parenting. Learning that it doesn’t get easier, there’s always another challenge but somehow I think I’m getting better at managing.
I’ll leave you with the exchange we’ve just had:
Her: rabbit soap, rabbit soap, rabbit soap! Everytime you go in the bathroom do you say that? Mama, do you say that? Rabbit soap, rabbit soap, rabbit soap
Her: why not?! Why don’t you say rabbit soap?
Me: ummm, because I don’t…look lets put Cbeebies on for 5 minutes!